I really like working at Dr. Aroian's lab! The people there are all really awesome and friendly, and it's just fun coming into the lab and getting stuff done. Last week, I went to my first lab meeting, and a postdoc Dr. Aroian was interviewing presented his research. It discussed how different genes could be turned on or off to inhibit development of the pharynx, which was crucial to the eating abilities of C. elegans. Dr. Aroian was interested in applying that concepts to worms--to stop the growth of their pharynx and inhibit their eating functions to effectively stop them from causing more harm to humans.

I'm very excited for this week! I will be visiting my good friend Alex in Sonoma County and hanging out for the weekend, before going to be a counselor at the Muscular Dystrophy Association summer camp! Fun week of getting outdoors, enjoying nature, and loving on God's children.

This weekend!

I had a really fun weekend! On Friday, I went to Santa Cruz with my friend Justin to write a report for my Sign Language class. It took a while and we had a lot of adventures and detours. Then on Saturday, I went shopping at JC Penney, and got some really good sales! Pretty much added a little of everything to my wardrobe--shirts, shorts, new pair of running shoes (my old ones were giving me blisters). After that, I went to a BBQ hosted by the Muscular Dystrophy Association at the Foster City Fire Department, and met my camper, who I'll be working with at the MDA camp later this month. Then, I went with my family to San Francisco to pick up my sister from her internship, and then we chilled at Fisherman's Wharf for a couple hours, before driving over to Pleasanton to watch "Two Gentlemen of Verona," put on by Shakespeare in the Park. It was a complete surprise when I ran into my good friend Ishika at the same place!

Then on Sunday, I had to work on a bunch of reports for Sign Language and Theater. Got to get the work done too!

(Belated) Father's Day

I celebrated Father's Day with my family tonight! We're 16 days late, but I'm glad I had the chance to appreciate my dad for the amazing person that he is. On the actual Father's Day, I was still in Southern California going to Camp Kesem, and one of my sisters had a softball tournament that lasted the whole day. One of the things that really stuck out to me today was how much my dad supports me in everything I do. Even though I was initially admitted to UC San Diego as a Winter Quarter Admit and a Cognitive Science/Human Development major, my dad did everything he could to support me in switching my admission to Fall Quarter and, most recently, to a Human Biology major. He helps me pay for my tuition and room and board, so I can focus on being a good student and having fun in college. When I called my dad excited to tell him that Camp Kesem raised its full budget and that I was going as a counselor, he didn't even mention that I wasn't going to be home for Father's Day. And when I applied for InterVarsity leadership and got rejected, he listened to my heart broken cries and pain.

My dad isn't the "Number 1 Dad" or "Best Dad in the World." No one is. I love my dad for who he is, for his weaknesses and strengths.

What's your major? Human Biology :)

I previously wasn't a Biology major at UCSD because of limited enrollment. Even though I hadn't fulfilled all the requirements yet, my dad encouraged me to submit an application for admission into Biology a couple weeks ago. I sent it in, assuming that I would be rejected or accepted on accident. Last night, I was preparing to have a long conversation with my dad and to have a time of worship, prayer, and discernment with God on whether to go down to San Diego for Summer Session II because of my Biology application. Just in time, I got an email saying that my major change was approved, so I'm now an official Human Biology major! There is such a long list of blessings that comes with being declared a biology major. All of the credit goes to God--He provides, and is able to redeem any mistake we have made in the past.

Home for the summer

I just came home for the summer from college two days ago! After finals, I spent a week in Los Angeles and another week at Camp Kesem, before making a 12 hour road trip home. I'm taking four classes at De Anza College right now: Communication, Sign Language, Theater/Acting, and Spanish for Health Professionals. I might have to drop a class though, taking 15 units in a 6 week quarter is a little too much. It's good to be back home! A lot of things have changed: new refrigerator, new used car, my dog is better behaved, and I think I've grown a lot. As of now though, there's the possibility I have to go back to San Diego to take Physics 1C over the summer if the waitlist for Fall Quarter doesn't get any shorter.

Camp Kesem is finally here!

I'm really excited to be counseling at Camp Kesem tomorrow! I've been training and fundraising for this camp for the past two quarters with a great group of other counselors. We're meeting the campers tomorrow on campus and being bused up to Camp Ronald McDonald, where we're going to be spending a week with the kids getting to know them and having fun. I'll only check my email and phone once a day for urgent messages, so it's nice to get away from modern technology too. See everyone in a week!

InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, Muir

The last official meeting of my InterVarsity small group was tonight at La Jolla Crossroads.

Ridiculously, I was contemplating going late or not going at all, because I needed to make more progress on my Muir 50 essay.

But by 4:30pm, I made the choice to prioritize people and community over work. Because there was always going to be work. And my community is always going to be there, but God was calling us to different places already and the dynamic was going to change.

After weeks of struggling with identity and worth and whether I could really call InterVarsity my home anymore in the midst of the leadership rejection and all the hype going around, I felt that I belonged again, that this was the community God placed me in and that it would be ridiculous to leave because of a single rejection.

The games were fun, we played Mafia in the hot tub. The food was good, we had Korean barbecue. I got thrown into the pool in my jeans and t-shirt.

The highlight of the evening was the event I was initially dreading the most. Affirmations.

So I try to make it a point to affirm people when they need it, but I usually do it as it comes. Tonight, we were going to sit around in a circle and affirm each other.

I was most afraid of getting "pity affirmations." You know, the ones where people affirm you for some minor thing that you did, but their heart is not really behind it or they're not being sincere. I was also afraid of not having substantial affirmations to give other people.

As our circle is beginning, I know I'm about to cry. "Goodbyes" are always difficult for me, and honestly, I could spend the rest of my life being a freshman with the same Bible study. But I knew God was calling each of us into new seasons of our lives, and for me, it is scary and unclear and lonely and confusing. And good. I know, but don't feel, that God's future for me is good.

Affirmations begin, and I'm sitting in the circle with my previously discussed fears. Hana Lee starts off with an affirmation for me, and the most genuine, beautiful people in my life God has blessed me with go on about why God has made me worthy and not ugly. I broke down, from the collision between godly encouragement and the lies of Satan I was struggling with the past couple of weeks. I cried, because I didn't want this to change or end, but I knew it had to. I cried, because in high school I was depressed and I had asked God to change me into someone who was cheerful. I cried, because I didn't deserved any of this--the community, the affirmations, the love.

A lot of the times, I try to act as if I don't need to be affirmed. I can give it away to others easily, but when it comes to receiving it, I pretend I don't need affirmation. I'll accept whatever the other person is saying, but I'm afraid to show that I need affirmation.

The truth is that it was refreshing, and just inspires me to continue to grow more in the areas I was affirmed in.

I also got the chance to give a public affirmations on other people in my small group whose words and actions and presence have been used by God to bless my life when I needed it most.

I like writing, but I know there are no words in the English language that can express how much this community means to me.

It's more than I can ask for, it's more than I deserve. God is the giver of good things, and without a doubt this is a good thing from Him.

So, if you're in Muir Small Group, whether or not you were present tonight, could you listen with your heart when I say that you have had a larger impact in my life than you will ever know. There are no words sufficient enough, so could you listen with your heart when I say that our friendship means everything to me.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

If you ever feel insignificant, don't.

Because to me, you mean the world.

Treasure Hunting

Today, for our men's group, Alex, Jesse, and I went treasure hunting at UTC Mall in San Diego. Basically, we prayed for God to give us "clues" describing people He wanted to bless today. I prayed in my prayer language/in tongues before asking God for clues, because I was learning about how praying in the Spirit can help us be more sensitive/discern what God is saying. I got "couple in Sears walking with a stroller and a baby", "single man with a bright white t-shirt and a dark striped/checkered blue/black shirt", "parent with lots of kids", and "woman holding Starbucks and a handbag, who smiles when you look at her but is broken inside". We went all around Sears, but no one really stood out to us, and I was getting frustrated. After already passing a woman with a Starbucks cup, Alex and I ran into a second one. We looked hesitantly at each other for a while, before Alex ran after her and I had to follow. Alex introduced us to the woman, named Sarah, and asked if there was anything we could pray for her for. It turns out that her dog had died the night before, and I got the chance to pray for her that God would provide and be her comfort during her time of need. I really hope she was blessed, because I was super blessed to have prayed for her.

Friends

When I was in high school, I remember ranting to God "if you would bless me with fruitful friendships, I could deal with [this]"--whatever I was struggling with at the moment. I thought, "yeah, you're going through a lot, but at least you have friends to support you."

I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for through InterVarsity--in my dorm team leaders, the freshmen in my small group, the freshmen in other colleges. And even though my bubble has been burst, and the one thing I wanted, to serve God as a dorm team leader, is probably not going to happen next year, I know I'm going to be okay.

Because I have God, family, and an incredible community.